打收到通知到现在,一个星期过去了。
到底去不去英国? 回答还是很难.
虽然跟BP商量了下，觉得虽然学费免了，可是路费和食宿费用依然很高.
就我现在的状况来讲,还是不去的好。
反正两个星期也学不到什么东西.
象这样的课程,只能是有闲钱时候当消遣,体验下外国风情而已。
可是要我一口回绝,还是不太容易.
其实心里还是有念想着。
心里有个小人,走来走去，走来走去.
在不停的问:
去?
还是不去?

没有问他，为什么最近对我特别好。

我知道,问了,他也许也说不出.

以蝎子之间的默契，其实不用问，我知道答案。

但是,我一直尽量说服自己不去想答案。

因为一触碰到真相边缘，容易感动的我鼻子就会酸，眼泪就会掉。

以为偷偷地把悲伤隐藏得很好,因为不想变成鲁迅笔下的祥林嫂.

从今以后无论谁问到，我都能应答自如。

以为只有自己知道，心有一堵斑驳的弱不禁风的墙，经历过墙皮逐片被剥离的痛苦，

现在要孤独坚强地忍受着整面墙坍塌后的空空荡荡。

可以掩饰得很好。因为不懂得怎么去清楚地表达自己的想法.

还好,原来我们之间,根本不需要.

他在悄悄地改变。

现在,想偷懒不做家务，他至多笑着责备我两句,而后从洗衣服到做饭一一包办:换作从前,还不知道他会因为我的懒惰而唠叨多久;

现在,只要我喜欢的东西,当时或过后,他定会买下来给我;而从前,囊中羞涩的我们只擅长window shopping,买什么东西之前一概要反复计算;

现在,我可以随便吃我想吃的东西;在上完英语课的晚上,打开冰箱甚至可以发现他给我准备的做为晚餐的小蛋糕,从前这是被他列入黑名单的食物因为怕我持续变肥;

现在,只要心绪不宁,伸出手臂就可以找到他的拥抱，即使只有几秒...可以就这么静静的靠在他怀里,静静的,不需要言语,直到定下心来...

思考,两只蝎子的世界,没有猜忌只有默契,该有多么完美.

可是,这么完美的幸福,却让人忐忑.

我真的能够拥有吗?

After brief introduction on the course arrangement by Jane, I went to WSE again last night to experience my first lesson.
We have to learn our lessons in the lab first, everyone has a laptop and follow thecomputer programfrom listening, repeating, reading and taking part, till final stage - checkpoint. At the very beginning, I didn"t know how to "go on" or "quit", I accidently clicked "quit", the floppy was bounced out and program was seased. I was worried and raised hand forthe advisor"s help.
Fortunetly, the information wasn"t lost, I can restart theprogram with advisor"s help.
But from then on, Ibecame very cautious and dared not click on "Quit" again...Finally when I saw the bar diogram to show my scores in checkpoints, I didn"t click "quit" to finish the lesson. Therefore, system went on andI continued toenter the session oflesson two. I even didn"t realize that untill I happened to see the word" lesson II" on the right top corner of the screen....
Faint....
As a result, I spent over 3 hoursin thelaband finished two lessons in one time...
When I walked out from the trainning centre,I was almost fed up with English words and physically, felt very hungry... I worried my stomach...which might be hurt much...and I think I may got stomachache soon...

2007-08-23
English Corner - topic is COMPUTER
Today I heard Yolanda said she wasinvited to join the introduction course this evening,since no one accompanied with her, she felt lonely... I promised I would go with her. But I would not go to lab to coninue my Lesson Three as yesterday I was really fed up...
This time, I would try English Corner, said there would be foreign teacher there.
The teacher might be overseas Chinese, I guess. Even though his oral Englishis very good, and the expressionsare very native, but he looks like ABC. Imustget achance to check it out. :)
Today"s topic is "computer", and we got to be familar with all parts of computer.
Two types of computer: laptop- which is portable; and desktop- which is convenient for home use.
whole set of computer including: monitor, screen, computer, keyboard, mouse, mouse pad, wire, speaker, hard drive, floppy, floppy drive etc...
And discussion thread as below:
**Do you think computer is always clever than human beings?
and someday, will computer rule the world instead of human?
I don"t think so, as computer is invented by human being, they can never be clever than their inventors...
** Does computerhurt your healthy?
Of course yes, some of my colleagues are in bad situation as they didn"t sit in proper pose and keep same posefor long time without moving, which put great pressure on shoulders and neck.
I didn"t finish the discussion yet,as I noticed Yolanda has finished her introduction course and came to my desk, we left WSE together, and felt a little excited.
Maybe I should come here on daily basis toimprovemy oral English...

今天下午六点到七点听了advisor --Jane 的课程介绍...
听到一堂课1.5到2个小时,每周坚持至少5个小时, 四个level的课程需花费至少8到12个月.
五个人中的四个倒抽一口冷气说:" 好后悔报名了呀...
我恐怕坚持不了呢... "
我是当中唯一一个镇定自若的. 还鼓励大家呢: "没想象的那么艰难,坚持其实就是一种习惯,习惯了就能坚持下来的...而且,想想看,整个课程1万2千多块钱哎,自己掏钱还舍不得呢... 现在公司给钱, 赚了哦... 不学白不学嘛... "
说的同时,我甚至已经开始想象我每天下班就开开心心背着书走在来上课的路上的样子了。
发现总是喜欢在事情还没有开始之前脑子里就开始勾勒预想的情景.
比如说，SCUT深圳班的名都还没报,考试都还没准备好.
我每天坐车经过福田党校就会开始情不自禁地想,我明年九月开学时会坐车到这个站,然后去到青年学院那栋灰灰的楼里面开始上课...
总是想得美美的走神... 过一阵才意识到,其实所有的事情都还没有开始呢...
不过,从心理学的角度看，这是一种自我暗示,一般对某件事有很强自我暗示, 而且暗示的细节越清晰,代表你将进行的这件事越会按你预想的结果去进行。
这样看来,在啥影子都还没有的情况下,先美美地幻想一下,也未尝不可呢~~

周五下班时天色就开始昏暗.
大家正在埋头加班,老大背着包包过来,说,台风哦,大家早点下班....
我说,气象台没个准的,昨天就说要来，影子都没见着..
陪L姐姐坐352,只图一路上不寂寞,可以聊天解闷.
车窗外开始下雨了,雨是绵绵密密的那种,一点不象台风的样子.
还好没有大塞车.
下了车顺路在粥棚买皮蛋瘦肉粥.
忽然之间,台风就真的来了。
粥棚的遮阳大伞被猛烈的风吹得东晃西摇,卖粥的两口子,一个熬粥,另一个就慌忙去撑住大伞, 我则赶快退到彩票站门口.
雨势凶猛,哗哗地下.
我不得已又退一步.
这时彩票站里的人发话了:"那位小姐,你不要站在门口... " 我回头正想回他"避个雨怎么都不行" 结果看到的是彩票站老板满脸的笑容, "我是说,要避雨就进来一点,在门口,屋檐的水一样会溅到你身上... "
我乐了。 摇头, "不用啦... 谢谢你...不怕的... "
回过身，感觉迎面吹来的风变暖了。心里也暖暖的。

去时坐的船，结果六个人中四个人被海浪颠簸得七荤八素。
到达澳门的码头时大家都是长呼一口气，终于可以上岸了。
排着队等入境时也观察了下周围环境。
且慢，这就是澳门？
粤通码头看起来比蛇口的更小更破，而且总共就只有两个通道可以入境。
检查通行证的人看来漫不经心，章都没摁就让我们过。
出了码头，就看到澳门街道，老，破，窄，条幅横七竖八。
这就是澳门给我的第一印象。
好像广州的上下九。
我们在小撄朋友的带领下，穿过窄窄的街道，往议事亭走去，途经手信街。
看到香记，钜记的招牌，但是很多店都还大门紧闭，当时近上午11点。
据说大部分店铺都是下午才开门营业的。
我想，这生意做的真悠闲阿。。。
正午太阳最毒的时候，我们站在喷水池边，正对着猛烈的阳光摆pose照相，右手边是民政总署的白色大楼，每层的窗外都点缀着几盆红色的小花，很漂亮。